This March will mark the third year anniversary of Expat and the City blog. It seems like yesterday that I started writing my first post and I can't for the life of me remember how I went from two readers to over 60K hits per month. There used to be this sweet Kuwaiti man who I affectionately called M&A for Married and Anonymous. He barely left his house but loved to read Kuwait blogs. I think I was one of the only blogs that he would comment on. Anyway, he was a nice man with a warped sense of humor. He used to really make me laugh. I sometimes wonder if he still reads this blog.
M&A: Are you still here after all of these years?
The whole idea of starting this blog was to write about my experiences in Kuwait. More of an online journal and nothing to do with becoming a famous Kuwait blogger, invitations to the hottest events or making money through advertising. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I wanted to stay anonymous mainly because of my job in Kuwait.
Right away I discovered so many Kuwait blogs that I enjoyed reading and after some time I became friends with many of the Kuwaiti bloggers. This by far has been the most outstanding part of my blogging experience. Many of the local blogs linked my blog to their blog and I started gaining followers and popularity. Before I knew it there were invitations, gifts, advertising inquiries, events and even personal invitations to bloggers homes. It was all very unexpected and flattering. There are companies that send out flyer's and requests for advertising to every blog and then there are the ones that can pick and choose certain blogs that they feel are the most popular or influential. For some reason Kuwaiti blogs seem to be a popular means of free advertisement compared to blogs in other countries.
As the number of blog readers grew the harder it was to stay anonymous. I'm not so concerned with friends or co-workers as I am with upper management and now my fiance's family finding out about the blog. The more popular the blog grew the more I couldn't write the entire story and I'd have to change things up a bit so I could protect my identity.
With the long hours I work here in Kuwait I've asked several friends over the years to join me so that the blog would stay fresh and have frequent new posts. Friends have come and gone on the blog and in Kuwait. It's hard to find interesting people you trust that have the time and passion to commit to blogging. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work to keep a blog going. A big thanks to all of you who help me. :*
Then came along an unexpected romance with an extremely private person you all know as Hayati. The more involved we became the more I feared he would find out about my secret hobby. There is so many interesting things about my life in Kuwait to write about but I am too scared of getting caught by him or upper management so I usually don't post about them. Over time the need to stay anonymous has all but ruined the blogging experience for me. I feel that if this blog had not been so well known that I would have been able to share more of what it's truly like to live here.
At the risk of becoming another Arab Times / Events blog without a personal touch I think it's best to shut this thing down either right before or after I get married this summer. I'm not really even sure how many people truly read this blog anymore because they genuinely like it. There seems to be a lot of jealous or hateful comments that make me laugh but also make me wonder what's the point of sharing my experiences on a blog. So what if I moved to Kuwait to work here and gain experience and then just happened to get engaged to a very wonderful Kuwaiti guy. Kuwait is full of millionaires so it's not a big deal that I'm about to marry one. I enjoy sharing some of the romantic things he does for me on the blog but believe me they are only the half of it. Thankfully I don't have to be with a man for his money as I choose to be with him because he is my soul mate.
I started this blog to write about my experiences living in Kuwait so I am damn well going to write about them (as much as I safely can). It's not my fault that nobody has ever treated you (the hater's) like a princess but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist or that it could never happen to you. Jealousy isn't flattering on anyone. Be happy for others and you'll be blessed to.
I really feel truly happy and in love. He's the man of my dreams and he makes me want to be a better woman. I'm so thankful for having such an amazing guy in my life who is also my best friend. When he recently went out of town I thought I'd literally die from missing him so much. He must have spent hundreds of Euros on calling cards because we talked for hours every day he was away.
Trying to blog about your life here but having to change a few important details about your experiences because of the need to stay anonymous and the censorship in Kuwait takes its toll after time. It's no longer as enjoyable and you don't feel free to write as you please. I never knew why some popular bloggers just stopped blogging but now I think I get it.
Well, it's late and I'm going to end this now. Not sure that I even made sense but I just want to say that I've enjoyed blogging very much but I also look forward to starting the next chapter of my life. A new chapter that doesn't involve strangers knowing about 75% of your personal business. I'm starting to feel it's time to say goodbye to the blog, Twitter and Instagram. Sometimes I think it would be fun to start a joint blog with my experiences as an American newlywed married to a Kuwaiti man. But I know that is never going to happen because if I told him he would never approve. At least he has changed and grown considerably since I first wrote, "His Rules". He used to lust me and now I know he truly loves me as I do him.
For B and the girls and all my Kuwait blogger friends I love y'all! Thanks to the readers who actually support me and wish me well. Your comments and encouragement are what keep me going. And for the haters: thanks for the laughs. <3
* I'm not going to stop blogging now. I just feel that it might be best for me to stop right before or after I get married.
Expat~ WTF!? What is going on WOMAN!? I think that if you have a passion for something... You should do it. Who cares what other people think. Honestly, Your blog has helped so many people and your stories are GREAT! Mi Suave is also VERY private... But he is such a big part of my life. I have to include him. My blog is the my record. I have been so many places with no proof! Plus- It is good to vent. And MOST of the bloggers are GREAT! There are some who suck sweaty Monkey Balls though! Just be happy and make your choices from your heart! People are SO closed minded! Ciao Bella!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support Amberzon. ❤ I promise hater comments make me laugh and most of the time do not bother me at all. That's not the reason I'll stop blogging before I get married this summer. It's because I'm marrying into a prominent local family and I'm afraid they might find out about the blog. I'm also afraid to accidently bring shame on them if I write something offensive without realizing it. I've been brought up in a different society with freedom of speech. Here it's different. Without posting too much of my private life that's the part I can share. :))
DeleteMaybe you can change the angle of the blog (or make a new one) to charity events and making Kuwait a better place! :) Will you leave Twitter too?
DeleteI'm still not sure what I'm going to do but maybe talking to him about it after drafting a few personal posts might be the best start. I will for sure stay in touch with you sweet friend. :))
DeleteExpat: Your reason to stop blogging is totally understandable (though not expected). We'll miss your blog (it's the only one I read). Thanks for blogging and sharing your experience on Kuwait. Wish you and H the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support and sweet comment. :* I'll be around until summer and blogging as much as time permits. I do love to blog but I don't see how I can continue after marriage. I'll go back to painting which is my true talent. :))
DeleteNooooo.....:(
ReplyDeleteI really love your blog cause unlike other bloggers who constantly post restaurant reviews nail bar reviews etc.you post about issues that other bloggers dont go near...like cultural issues such as "wud u mind being wifey no 2 ".hehe one of my fav topics of yours.
Your unique thats why i love your blog.your articles always brought a smile to my face .Wish you could reconsider your decision.but in the end i would like to wish you all the best that life has to offer.will sure miss your blog.
Hi Neema! It's so nice to hear from you and I'm glad you enjoy reading the blog. I was beginning to think the haters were outnumbering the supportive readers. LOL! :) Thanks for supporting me and I'll try my best to post some even better posts before my wedding. :)
DeleteThis is a long….comment and not expecting you to print this, you may want to keep this confidential. I have just started viewing your blog and have enjoyed all your quirky stories and I think I will miss your blog site. Where would I find out about the Chinese hookers? One of your best pieces! I think that blogging in Kuwait is not just a hobby for you; it is more or less, an addiction. Although you enjoy sharing all the stories of your experiences here, it is sort of like this game that you play with the voyeurs of Kuwait, it is about the impressions that you make with your stories, and the responses you get from your audience whether they are haters or supporters – it’s about validating your life here in Kuwait. You’re going out like ‘Seinfeld’ at the top of your game with a recent silver honorary blogging award, probably due to the piece that you did on tourism in Kuwait. Who knew that there were that many things to do here? What I suspect is your ‘anonymous’ status might be jeopardized by a recent comment that you received, after all, it is quite impossible that someone in ‘H’’s family hasn’t viewed your blog site in a country that is the size of Rhode Island? If he is as private as you state, the fact that you are speaking on a blog site about your relationship could be a potential straw that could break the camel’s back and expose you. As you state in your comment, you are head over heels for this guy, as well as, him for you - you could be close to losing all that if you are exposed, so you have come to the conclusion that love wins over your obsession to blog about your life experiences here in Kuwait. You are not blameless for your bragging, which brings the hater’s with regards to your impending marriage to this Kuwaiti man, but on the most part I think most of your readers wish you well on this new chapter in your life, however, I don’t think that leaving the blogging world will be easy for you. It will be like coming down from a dose of heroin, because you have been used to viewing your world in Kuwait based on your blog site, a new story, and you will have to fight the urge to push yourself from the keyboard. There will be a withdrawal period, it’s not going to be easy, and you may find yourself really bored without this site, because you will have to fight these inner conflicts to blog about all the outrageous things that you see in Kuwait which is abounding.
ReplyDeletecon.t - Best of luck to you in your new life, I am not a hater; I found amusement in a lot of what you blogged. What advice would I give you? Well make sure that you build a real solid friendship with your new husband, because eventually the love will fade and in a cross-cultural relationship, it is more challenging to maintain a solid marriage. You will be forced to compromise more than you can imagine, so learn to hold your ground and don’t allow his family to control you or to try to change the way you think that counters what your parents have taught you, because that is who you are as an individual and you are not Kuwaiti, you are American. I have heard many stories over the years about American women who entered relationships with Kuwaitis and they bridged the two cultures successfully, but most of these women ended up returning to the States without their husbands, after many years of marriage, when they grew apart and could no longer tolerate living in this country. Although you have found amusement in the things that you see around you and have learned to love this country – it will get old and especially during the American holidays you might find yourself constantly yearning to go home because it will never feel the same here even if you manage to find Christmas ornaments in the shops here – it will end up depressing you. I think your friend AG could shed light on what I just said, because she seems to be there now. I honestly could live the rest of my life in Dubai, but not here with its dysfunctional government that takes years to make formative decisions to improve the society. Everything must come to an end, but why do I think this one will not end? You appear to have a rebelious streak in you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your loooong comment. ;p You have very valid points and it will not be easy to eventually walk away from my love of blogging. However, it will also be some sort of relief that my personal life isn't splashed all over the Internet. Only time will tell if my "blog addiction" will be cured. ;)
DeleteYou are right about the friendship part. He is my very best friend. We laugh non-stop and enjoy spending time together. It reminds me a lot of my Mom and Dad's relationship.
Thanks again for your support and for taking the time to write such a long comment. :)
Good decision actually, you're about to get married "are we even invited to the wedding?!", Any man would be mad to find out that his personal life was being shared/will be shared without his consent.
ReplyDeleteYou could always shift to another type of blogging , Like 248am. Restaurants reviews,events,news,BAGS..etc
Just Remove your personal posts and keep bloggin.
A blog about bags is a great idea. I could call it my "Hayati collection". Just kidding! ;)
DeleteSeriously, I never thought about removing the personal posts and just doing a blog on other things in Kuwait. That might be difficult to do but it's a good idea. But would anyone read it?
good luck with everything, i'll miss reading your very interesting blog posts
ReplyDeleteHi Hebah! Thank you sweetheart. I will try to post some more interesting ones until summer. :) But posts that won't get me in trouble. Heehee
DeleteReally sorry to hear you are leaving the blogosphere! I will miss reading your updates. Good luck to you and your Hayati in your upcoming life!
ReplyDeleteThank you Martha and I will for sure stay in touch. I would love to get together one of these days. I think you are really a sweet and fun person.
DeleteJust thought I'd log in and say a few things, but I now I realize that my words aren't that important seeing all these comments above me! lol. Just wanted to say Nooooo! please dont stop. I've only just come across your blog a few months ago and I've been loving each post. Your life has been such a fairy tale to read. Am I jealous? haha, probably (but not in a malicious sort of way) Just another girl who's in love with love..I've loved reading each post and I sure hope you'll continue writing. I'm probably being nosy here, but I would love to read about your life after getting married. The struggles, the good bits, in-law issues, everything. But I do understand if you stop. I probably would if I were in your situation. Anyway, I'll stop now. I'm rambling quite a bit aren't I? I'll miss the blog once you stop though :-( Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteThank you Layla. Your words mean a lot. <3 I think that kind of blog that talks about what married life is like here would really help a lot of people. Not to mention interseting to read for sure. However, it would put me at risk so I can't do it. I do want to tell him. After removing some posts. ;p
DeleteNooooooooooo! Y u no blog full life ? :( Anyways, it was nice reading your blog all these months. But I guess you're right in not blogging as you are getting married. All I would say now is Good Luck & have a happy married life :)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. So nice of you to say. :D
DeleteWish you the best in this new phase of your life, it is normal that this life changing expirence that you are about to undertake affect your blogging (not saying it in a bad way). Whatever you decide to do I hope that benefits you and I also hope that in the near future you keep delighting us with a new phase of your whatever it may be (married life, general life in kuwait, painting or anything else)
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding. :) I do love blogging and wish things could be different. When I paint I usually drink wine so I guess in Kuwait it will be grape juice.
DeleteI totally understand and agree about you stopping the blog after getting married. I'm also a foreigner married to a Kuwaiti (my husband is not a millionaire) and I know how much they treasure privacy.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the very best. Try to integrate as much as you can. They will appreciate your effort and will treat you with kindness although you will never get rid off the 'foreigner' title.
Adapting to their customs is not an easy task. Many will appear out of the book and strange. Also, as a foreigner, you are used to speak out your mind on all kind of subjects but here sometimes it's better to keep it to yourself.
I don't know how much of a change your future husband will ask of you (wearing hiyab perhaps, converting to Islam?).
Don't let anybody make you feel guilty if you want to change. This is your life.
Be happy
Oh, so glad you commented. It's nice to read from someone in a similar position. :) I do not plan on trying to become Kuwaiti: American and proud is more like it. ;) That's the girl he fell in love with. His family is pretty Westernized yet still very Kuwaiti. I am not converting or wearing a hijab. He knows that will never happen but we respect each others religions. I've studied Islam at Uni with elected courses. I knew a lot about the region through travel and study before I arrived. Of course living here and falling in love with him has been the best eduction.
DeleteYour blog was one of the first that I started reading after moving to Kuwait and I'll be sad to see you go! I love that you talk about real life and culture yet don't go into juicy personal details or spam the blog with advertisements. There are plenty of news and activities blogs in Kuwait...I'll miss your honest reflections! Will you stay on Twitter? Good luck with the wedding planning and have a beautiful life!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet comment. Thank you very much! <3 I will probably stay on Twitter with a personal account. I haven't really decided yet. It's hard to know what is right when you love blogging as much as I do.
DeleteSo, so sad to see you go. :( I remember when I visited Kuwait for the first time a year ago, and could only find great info on blogs like yours and AG's. I just sat there flipping back between your blog and AG's...and between the two had enough info to feel semi-prepared to move here!
ReplyDeleteBut, at the same time I understand. I didn't even marry a Kuwaiti or have a secret blog...and I know that writing about your personal life on the internet is not easy...especially if both your families know about it. So much for the ability to be totally honest!
I concur with the commenter who suggested blogging about events and less-personal info if it makes you more comfortable. But regardless, keep the site up for all the newbies like me who come to Kuwait in need of girlie info that one can only find through a few great blogs!
Thanks for everything you've shared through the years! You've helped a lot of readers adjust to their move, and kept bored housewives like me entertained with your love story and funny moments in Kuwait. :)
All the best to you and H....you have a TON of great days ahead of you! :)
What a thoughtful and super sweet comment. <3 You made my day! :) I'm so glad I could help you a little bit with the transition of moving to Kuwait to join your Hubby. You have one of my very favorite blogs and your photographs are gorgeous. My favorite is the one of your beautiful engagement ring. Thank you for your support and for being a true blogger friend.
Delete*sniff* I'll miss you, Expat! Pretty please keep your Instagram going so I can keep up with you there? And thank you so much for this blog and all your hard work! I have been so thankful over the years to have had this as a resource!
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you and Hayati - and next fall, hit me up when you need a visa run, we'll go for lunch at Dubai mall! :)
Thank you sweetie. You are another true blogger friend that I can always count on for positive and uplifting comments. I was cracking up reading your latest posts about flying back to Kuwait.
DeleteAt least I have a few more months to decide what to do but I promise to never lose touch with my blogger buds. Lunch and shopping at Dubai mall sounds perfect. :D
I'm happy for you Expat, but I don't think that you shoukd quit blogging because of marriage. You've been blogging since 2010 and everything was swell, so why leave the blog world after achieving so much, i.e. followers, recognition from the Kuwait-based blogs, and educating expats about Kuwait's culture, sightseeing, and trendy spots? Please reconsider. The amount of appeals from all of the above comments suggest you stay. You have people who care about you.
ReplyDeleteWhere have you been? :p Missed you!
DeleteThanks for the encouraging comment. I have some time to think about it because I'm still not sure of what to do. When I wrote this post late at night I felt certain about closing it. I just don't know what is right. Until I decide I will just keep on posting. :))
Mabrook Mabrook :) certainly one of the most amusing blogs in K-Town :) Time is indeed flying !
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks y'all. Muwaaah! :*
DeleteThe odds are stacked against you, but then the odds are stacked against most relationships, intercultural or not. “H” seems westernized and open minded enough to deal with the problems that may arise. Here, let me add my 2 cents you almost certainly don't need.
ReplyDeleteMost likely one of you will have to deal with a “host” culture, and one of you will have to live their life adapting to a foreign culture that will never consider you an equal. His family may love and accept you, but you still will have to spend an entire life fighting an upstream battle of proving that you qualify to fit into a society that has a negative view of western women. I see success for you two if you move to America, but I am much more skeptical about what will happen if you will remain in Kuwait.
Thank you for your comment. I've always been unique and different growing up. My parents and private education encouraged individualism. I am not trying to 'fit in' with them to be just like them. I grew up a child of the world always traveling or living abroad. I want to continue to be the person he fell in love with and not become someone else. There are 'some' Western ladies married to Kuwaitis that were party animals and dating anything that followed them for their number in Kuwait. Now they are married and converted over just to try and fit in with their husband's family. It's obvious to the family and they never truly accept them. The families know they changed religion only for show but get them behind closed doors and it's a different story. Then they judge others as if they are perfect Muslims now. When those of us that knew them before know otherwise. Please God let me never become like them.
DeleteWe are going to have our own house so that we have more of a Western style marriage and privacy. I rarely go to the family house for Friday lunch but will have to go weekly after marriage. His parents are wonderful and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I just have to work on mine. :)
Thank you for answering. I know what you're talking about. There are no-good liars and cheaters out there ready to betray their very core just to marry an exotic Kuwaiti dude.
DeleteHowever, I believe that the majority of these “western women” conversions are indeed sincere. But Kuwait is eyeballing these women with suspicion, as if they are liars and deceivers of the most lowly kind.
The born Muslims usually look down on the converted Muslims. They won't say it, they will never say it, but they do feel superior... And the “converted to Islam before met the guy” are the most pompous of the kind. They go on and on about how true their faith is as compared to women who converted after meeting the man.
The women who genuinely converted were looking for a meaning in life, like most of us humans do. In addition to that meaning, they find an angel too, a sexy dark angel, who is ready to guide them onto the righteous path of Islam. And they think, “all is swell, we will live together happily ever after as man and wife, united in Islam.” How great is such a vision! What sublime happiness awaits those lovebirds? Marriage, children, growing old together, and maybe after it all ends, together in heaven forever at last.
I applaud your decision not to convert to Islam and remain christian. You are sincere.
Thank you! :) I respect his religion but I would never change mine.
Delete